Parody of Parodies
by DeMoNtAiNtEd
Summary: Snape's important meeting....with a squeeji? Other things of odd humor that a person such as me is capable of finding...
1. The Sorting Hat

-I don't know if anyone will find this remotely funny...but I did...I'm strange like that..  
  
Parody of Parodies  
  
Chapter 1: Book One Sorting Hat  
  
Young Harry Potter sat on the stool with the sorting hat on his head; he'd just been briefed on all the houses...  
  
-Not Slytherin! Not Slytherin!- he muttered secretly knowing he'd be having years and years of voldemort's endless attacks in poor attempts to kill him while secretly knowing he'd be placed in gryffindor because he was the brave hero of wizarding world...  
  
-I am going to be such a damn good gryffindor! Oooh! I've already got some good insults for that ferret-face Draco Malfoy!- Harry thought happily, ignoring the stupid sorting hat's chatter about his endless talents of bravery..  
  
By now the sorting hat was godamn fed up with the stupid prat of a dorkish-clod-hop! I mean seriously! How many times can a person compliment themselves on what a good insult they've got for another boy? It' wasn't even that good to begin with!  
  
Godamn-! His thoughts just when on and on... 'oh poor me- I've got no parents- Oh woe is me! My evil aunt- and uncle lock me in the cubboard and starve me!' tosh! You wanky tosser! SUCK IT UP!  
  
Now Harry congradulated himself on yet again another lovely insult...mumbling about just how stEWpid Slytherins were...  
  
Oh wait- the stupid Sorting Hat had made a decision- Gryffindor obviously- c'mon- he was the perfect modle citizen!  
  
The crowd drew a collective breath.  
  
-One last test question Harry Potthead-er! I mean Potter-!-...the sorting hat murmured...  
  
-Which house do you want?-  
  
-Not Slytherin!!- Harry thought adamantly- knowing he would get Gryffindor- I mean c'mon! Look at him! Harry the bloody SEXY Gryffindor Potter! It was perfect!  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The sorting hat yelled as loud as it possibly could...cutting off in an evil maniac cackle of laughter as the poor idiot Potthead-er-i meant Potter- was then dragged off kicking and screaming towards the Hufflepuff table....  
  
The entire room was silent.  
  
Snape *giggled*....  
  
McGonagall's lips twitched nervously.  
  
And Albus Dumbledore tossed the box of lemon drops over his shoulder and then proceeded to bang his head on the table...  
  
At the Slytherin table...   
  
Draco Malfoy threw his head back and laughed evily along with the sorting hat.  
  
At the Gryffindor table...  
  
Ronald Weasley broke down and began crying on Hermione's shoulder while his left hand clutched at her breast in a show of broken sorrow...while moaning occasionally for reasons unknown...  
  
-I don't know why I wrote this- just the thought of the Sorting Hat calling out 'Hufflepuff' just to torture Harry to mind so easily... ^.^ r/r one time thing...unless I think of something else insane 


	2. The Important Meeting

Parody of Parodies  
  
Chapter 2: The Important Meeting  
  
"Yes Albus...?" Snape drawled slowly...not at all liking the possible *why* he'd been summoned into the headmaster's office.  
  
Dumbledore smiled slightly, his cheeks starting to tinge a bit, *twinkle*   
  
Snape could feel that -twitch- coming back into his left eye again.... *twitch*  
  
Dumbledore coughed.  
  
Snape scowled.  
  
"Lemon drop?"  
  
Snape growled, "...No thank you Albus...."  
  
"the point of this...visit is..." Albus began, breaking off into a smile.  
  
*twinkle twinkle*  
  
*twicth twitch*  
  
...  
  
*twinkle twinkle*  
  
*twitch* growl, *twitch*  
  
*twinkle twin-   
  
"ALBUS!"  
  
Snape inhaled deeply *twitch twitch* ...he held the breath...*twitch* counted to ten...breathed out...better...it was gone...along with that stupid eyeball twinkling-charm Albus used so damned often...  
  
"-is that I have a grave and trying favor that I must ask of you...." Dumbledore spoke in all seriousness,   
  
there was a heavy pause...  
  
"it will be hard-"  
  
tension in the air mounted  
  
was it voldemort again?  
  
Albus took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come...  
  
Snape's breath caught, his eyes widening a bit as the seriousnes of what Albus was telling him began sinking in...  
  
"I will do it for the good of Hogwarts Albus-" Snape agreed before he asked- already thinking he had to impersonate someone...he could use polyjuice potion along with some illusion spells..  
  
"That's great! Mighty kind of you to accept the job of-" Albus smiled, cheeks pinkening, grin plastered on his face.  
  
-cleaning the student bathrooms!..." Albus finished with a pleasant smile  
  
*twinkle twinkle*  
  
Snape growled...clenching his teeth and balling his fists the nerve of that insane bastard! They had house elves for that!  
  
"Here, you'll need this" Albus spoke cheerily, handing over a pink squeeji and toothbrush...  
  
*twinkle twinkle*  
  
*twitch twitch*  
  
damnit- bloody *twicth* fuckin *twitch twitch* stupid*twitch* slimy *twitch---  
  
and so on.... ^.^ I just thought that was funny... r/r- 


End file.
